Poo

Dirty park dove grips little boy's hair like a whore's and drops a hot mess. Tragic.

Today was a grown adult’s version of crapping your pants at work, getting shot in the face by Dick Chaney, being held hostage by a dove with diarrhea or maybe (this is pushing it) being trapped in an elevator with that crazy lady from the gym sauna while country music is playing in the background.  As a new blogger, I didn’t even prepare for this moment….I have nothing particularly funny to say, and really just quite a lot of the opposite.  This is why people blog on TOPICS!  Oh, sustainable health and living blog, I will swear you off ’til I’m homeless….so maybe in April?

I have been enjoying blogging….I sit down at night, collect myself, the comedy builds, my thoughts are flowing through my fingers and then WOORDSSS!  I end up laughing at what I wrote and feel like I have done something purposeful besides throw my resumes and hopes into an abyss where nepotism and advanced degrees trump all else.

In writing this, I am beginning to see the problem-I’m constantly teetering on the edge of insanity (where the comedy is!).  But today I was on a teeter totter with the fattest kid at school who pinned my and shook me off into the muddy playground.  Now I’m known as “doo doo face Solomon” and nobody wants to sit with me at lunch because I smell like rotten dog park poo.

Does this break some rule about blog etiquette?  For the most part I am talking to myself, and God knows I have NO verbal filter.  So maybe this is OK.  Yes, it is OK because my Valium is kicking in…don’t worry, it’s a real prescription from my old family doctor.  He maxed out my doses when I lost my job and soon-following insurance, he’s more like a psychic actually.

Wishing everyone a better tomorrow.  Now where’s my National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation movie………